User blog:Tater Chip Girl/Where Your Loyalties Lie - Chapter 04
DISCLAIMER: The Harry Potter universe and its characters belong to J.K. Rowling. No profit is being made from this story and any copyright infringement is completely unintended. Other characters created for this story are mine and should not be used in other materials or at other websites without my permission. WARNINGS: Consensual non-graphic M/F sex; consensual non-graphic M/M sex; some strong language and violence. PAIRINGS: Snape/Hermione, Harry/Ron, Dumbledore/? Gratitude Morning found Hermione Granger blinking herself slowly awake in what looked like a big tunnel of dark fabric. A few minutes (and many blinks) later, she could see well enough to determine that she was in a bed surrounded by a set of tall, thick drapes that appeared to be hanging in midair. The high ceiling was visible far above them, reflecting the morning sun just enough to create a pleasant glow. She took a few deep breaths and yawned, idly wondering where she was and how she'd gotten here. Someone was holding her left hand and rubbing her palm. Hermione turned her head and was amazed to find Severus Snape sitting beside her bed. "Where am I?" she asked sleepily. Snape released her hand and sat back in his chair. "In the hospital wing." She gave him a confused look. "Why? What happened?" "You don't remember?" "Well ... " Hermione looked around, her frown deepening. "I had this odd dream ... you were there, and Professor Dumbledore too ... I *think* it was a dream ... " "It wasn't." "Why are you here?" she finally thought to ask. "Am I in trouble?" "No," Snape answered quietly, not looking at her. "How did I get here?" she yawned. He heard her voice again, inches from his ear, saying You smell so good as he carried her out of his office and through the dark tunnels. "I brought you." "Why?" "We'll discuss it later, when you're more awake." The curtains parted, and a tray floated through. "Ah." Snape was glad to change the subject. "Here's Dobby with breakfast." The house elf himself appeared after pushing a second tray through the opening. "Good morning, Professor Snape! Good morning, Hermione Granger! Dobby is so happy you are better!" he said cheerfully. "Dobby is bringing you a big breakfast, for you to be strong again." "Good morning, Dobby," yawned Hermione, pushing herself into a sitting position. The second she moved, Snape leapt up with a startled look and stretched out his hands as if to brace her from a fall. "Are you alright?" he asked worriedly. "Are you dizzy? Are you in pain?" She shook her head, puzzled and taken aback by his uncharacteristic concern. "No ... I'm fine, thank you." "Are you sure?" Snape's hands still hovered nervously before him, his eyes searching her face. "Quite ... sure, thank you ... " she answered slowly. She didn't know quite what to make of Snape's behavior. "Really, I'm fine," she repeated more firmly. That seemed to convince him, and he finally sat back down. The house elf was practically jumping up and down as he guided the breakfast trays to them. "Dobby is so happy to see you are waking up, Hermione Granger! Dobby was so worried! But Professor Snape is making you well again!" Hermione froze, her cup of pumpkin juice halfway to her mouth, to stare at Snape, who blushed and looked down, pretending to fascinated by his waffle. "You made me well?" she asked in a hushed voice. "What was wrong with me?" "That will be all, Dobby!" Snape growled from behind clenched teeth, shooting a severe look at him. "What did you do, Professor? What happened to me?" Hermione asked quickly. "Dobby is hoping Hermione Granger will come back to the kitchen soon and talk to house elves," Dobby chattered on, blissfully unaware of Snape's discomfort. "House elves are wanting to see her again, feed her good things. They are very much liking recipes from Hermione Granger's grandmother." "Dobby!" Snape snapped, flicking his eyes from Hermione to the little creature and back again. "Professor Snape must come too," Dobby went on, oblivious. "He will be very much liking new recipes Hermione Granger is making for him." "Dobby!" Hermione interrupted, now blushing herself. "Thank you *very* much, the breakfast is wonderful, you can go now, alright?" She waved desperately towards the spot where he'd come in. Oh, very good, very good!" the elf beamed at her. "Are you needing anything else?" "We're fine, Dobby, thank you *so* much. Goodbye!" Hermione waved at him again, looking pointedly towards the thin, bright opening in the drapes. "Oh!" Dobby perked up and stood still, bat-like ears waving comically as his huge eyes rolled from side to side, regarding their tense faces. "Dobby is understanding now. Miss is wanting to be alone with Professor Snape. Dobby is going now. Goodbye!" With that, he slid deftly between the drapes and disappeared. Hermione ducked her head, thankful for the long hair falling forward to hide her face as she poked at her food and tried to think of something to say. "House elves are such silly things, aren't they?" she finally managed with a weak laugh. "Always babbling such nonsense." "Indeed," Snape answered, toying with his food as well. "Indeed they are," he added for good measure. They sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment, looking down at their trays. "You should finish your breakfast," Snape said after a while. "You need it, especially after - " he stopped himself and quickly stuffed a big chunk of waffle into his mouth. "After what?" Hermione looked up from her plate. "After what, Professor?" "Good morning, Miss Granger." Professor Dumbledore stepped through the curtains and walked around to the right side of her bed. "How are you feeling?" "Good morning, Professor," she said, sitting up and smiling brightly. "I feel wonderful, thank you." "Professor." Dumbledore nodded to Snape, who nodded back and busied himself with another bit of waffle. "I trust you slept well?" The Headmaster turned his attention back to Hermione. "Yes, sir," she replied. "But I still don't understand why I'm here. What exactly - " "All your questions will be answered, my dear, I promise," said Dumbledore, taking the other chair beside her bed. "But only after you've finished your breakfast. Both of you." He looked pointedly at Snape, who lowered his eyes and continued eating wordlessly. Dumbledore sat in thoughtful silence and watched as they finished every bite of food on their plates. When they were through, he waved his hand, and the trays disappeared with a small popping noise. "Now, Miss Granger, we may discuss what happened to you last night. Ah - but first - " He raised his hand. "Tholus Silentium," he intoned. Hermione looked around, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. "What was that?" she asked, arranging her pillows so she could sit more comfortably. "The Dome of Silence, my dear," Dumbledore replied with a secretive little smile. "Quite useful, really. Now we may speak privately. No one can hear us." "What happened last night?" Hermione leaned forward as she addressed Dumbledore. He regarded her intently for a moment. "You have no memory at all?" Hermione frowned and looked up as she searched her brain. "Well ... " she began carefully. "I think I threw up, and it smelled horrible - awful black stuff that looked like tar." "Yes, yes ... anything else? Do you remember where that happened?" Dumbledore sat forward as well. "In ... Professor Snape's office?" she looked quizzically from one man to the other, waiting for confirmation. "That's right," said Dumbledore. "And do you remember why you went there?" Another frown as she tried again to piece together her memory. "I needed help with something ... " She sat in silent thought for a few moments, and the two men exchanged a look across her bed. "Perhaps this will jog your memory," Dumbledore offered. "Do the words Lumos Cardia ''mean anything to you?" Her face brightened. "That's an incantation," she whispered. "Yes, that's it. I used it to ... " The bright expression froze into one of surprise, then shock, then fear. "Oh ... oh ... oh my god ... " Hermione's eyes went straight to Snape's face, and it all rushed back in an enormous wave. They both looked away quickly, overwhelmed by the sudden tide of emotions. "Yes, yes, I know it's all a bit overwhelming," said Dumbledore kindly. "But we must get past all that for now and concentrate on the matter at hand, which is your safety and well-being, Miss Granger." She looked a bit fearfully at the Headmaster. "Professor? Am I ... in trouble for using that spell?" Dumbledore regarded her fondly, his eyes softening. "Of course not, dear girl." "It's just ... " she continued shyly, "I didn't know what else to do. He was in so much pain, I couldn't just stand there and do *nothing* - " On the other side of the bed, Snape bowed his head and clenched his jaw, seeming to take a sudden interest in his hands. "Miss Granger." Dumbledore leaned forward as he addressed Hermione. "Allow me to put your mind at ease once and for all. You are not in trouble, and you will not be punished. Any contact with Voldemort is punishment enough, wouldn't you say?" Hermione nodded and wiped away a tear. "As for the spell you performed," he went on, "We will say no more of it, and consider the matter closed. Agreed?" Another tearful nod from Hermione. "Thank you," she whispered hoarsely. "Now, on to more urgent business," he said briskly, leaning back into his chair. "The fact is, Miss Granger, that your actions have more than likely drawn Voldemort's attention to you, though he probably does not know your identity. And since it involved Professor Snape, he is now under greater scrutiny as well." Hermione turned a tearful face towards Snape. "I'm so sorry ... I didn't mean - " Snape managed a grim smile. "It's not worth worrying about. It was only a matter of time until his eye fell on me again." "You are in need of protection, my dear," Dumbledore continued. "And Professor Snape is the logical choice for your guardian, as he is uniquely qualified to defend you against the Dark Arts." The irony of the statement was not lost on Snape, as he had supposedly been vying for the DADA position at Hogwarts for quite some time. Hermione leaned back against her pile of pillows and covered her eyes with her hand as she began to weep quietly. "I'm sorry," she croaked. "I never meant to cause all this trouble." She shook her head and let out a few little shuddering sobs. "I thought I was helping, and look at the mess I've made - bringing Voldemort down on us like this ... " She uncovered her eyes to look at Snape, and realized with a shock that he wore the same expression of deep longing she'd seen as he stood over her bed with Dumbledore the night before. He quickly looked back down at his fidgeting hands. "You will also be trained in the necessary advanced self-defense measures," Dumbledore went on. "Though it seems you are already well on your way in that regard. Professor Snape will, of course, serve as your instructor." "When do I start?" Hermione sniffed, wiping her eyes. "As soon as possible," he replied. "Today is Saturday, so I want you both to take full advantage of the weekend to get plenty of rest." Dumbledore rose from his chair. "Your training will begin on Monday. It goes without saying, of course," he added, "That this incident and discussion of same will go no further than the three of us. Do I make myself perfectly clear?" "Yes, sir," Snape and Hermione replied together. He placed a hand on Hermione's head. "You are to go directly to your dormitory and stay there. If anyone questions your absence last night, tell them you fell ill, I ordered you to spend the night here, and have just now released you and ordered bed rest. No one will think twice about it." "As for you, Severus," he turned to Snape. "I know you well enough to guess that you will disobey my order and find a way to busy yourself with work." Snape only stared at him in embarrassed silence. "If you must work, then so you shall - but on my terms," the Headmaster continued. "You will remain in your quarters and have an assistant bring all work to you. I will arrange for your meals to be sent down." Snape grudgingly nodded his acknowledgement. "Your meals will be brought to you as well, Miss Granger. ''Tholus Emovetis," said Dumbledore, with a flick of his fingers. "The Dome of Silence has been removed. Guard your words carefully." He regarded them both for a moment as they waited tensely for him to go on. "That is all. You may both go now," he said, and waved his hands. The curtains around the bed swished open, then faded into nothing as Dumbledore walked away. Snape and Hermione watched him go without a word, then sat silently, trying not to look at each other. Finally, with a sigh, she swung her legs off the bed to get up and discovered that her shoes had been removed. "Have you seen my - " she began, but Snape was already bending down to retrieve them from under the bed, where Madam Pomfrey must have stowed them during the night. Still saying nothing, he calmly slipped them onto her feet as she sat there. "Thanks," she whispered. "You didn't have to do that." When she stood up, he leapt to his feet as he had before, hands extended to help her. "It's alright." Hermione waved him off. "I can walk by myself." "Are you sure?" "Yes, thank you." Snape cleared his throat and flicked his eyes nervously around the ward, relieved to see that no one else had come in. Madam Pomfrey was still in her office at the other end of the room. "I feel I must point out," he said in a low voice, "That you placed yourself in danger unnecessarily by coming to my aid." Hermione frowned and shook her head. "But - " "I have survived many such attacks, Miss Granger, and would have survived this one as well without any help from you." He shot another quick glance around. "You committed a highly irresponsible act. Do you realize that you could have been killed?" Snape checked the room again before continuing. "While I am grateful, the fact remains that you are very lucky to be alive right now." She stepped right up to the Potions Master, stopping inches from his face. My god, he thought.'' I never realized how tall she really is.'' They were almost literally eye to eye. "I suppose that's *your* idea of a thank-you," she said in a fierce whisper. "I should probably be polite and say 'Oh, you're very welcome, Professor, and I promise in future *not* to go risking my neck for you anymore', but I don't *need* your bloody gratitude. That's not why I did it." Stunned into silence by her boldness, Snape stared in open-mouthed amazement. "All I cared about," she hissed, "was that you were suffering, and I wanted to stop it. That's all." "I did ask you to leave, as I recall," he hissed back. "You should have listened. You had no business exposing yourself to that kind of risk." Hermione's nostrils flared with anger. "When someone you - when someone's in that kind of pain, you don't stop to think about anything else." She stopped and glared at him furiously. "But if it's all the same to you, then next time I'll just bloody well let him *have* you." With a final withering look, she turned on her heel and strode away, her hair swinging with the angry force of her steps. Rooted to the spot with shock, Snape watched her disappear through the door. The source of that shock, contrary to what one might expect, was not her brazen behavior, coarse language, or the fact that she had addressed him as an equal. Three words kept bouncing off the insides of his head, echoing over and over as he tried to decide whether he'd really heard them issue from the lips of Hermione Granger. "When someone you -'' " she'd said, then quickly corrected herself - essentially coming a hair's breadth from openly admitting her love for him. Snape couldn't decide whether to celebrate or be scared out of his wits. And, as a lovely finishing touch, he'd sent the woman who almost died for him storming out the door to sit in her room for two days while thinking what a complete arse he was. ''I *am* a complete arse, he thought dazedly. But it's just as well - it would never work anyway. Better to make her hate me now and get it over with than to ruin her life. Suddenly the idea of two days alone in his quarters with no interruptions and no work was very, very appealing. He wouldn't even have to leave for meals. And there just happened to be two unopened bottles of good brandy waiting in his drinks cupboard. Snape started walking, his strides long and swift and purposeful as his robes billowed out behind him, snapping like flags in a high breeze. Tonight, he wouldn't be tormented by unrequited love, or ancient spells that gave him feelings he had no name for. Not even the call of the Dark Lord would rouse him. Because tonight, Severus Snape intended to get absolutely fucking pissed out of his mind. >>> CHAPTER 05 Category:Blog posts Category:Blog posts Category:Blog Stories Category:SS/HG